Instagram 2019

“Hi”

“Hi :)”

“I’m Babs, you got lovely pictures  and you are?”

“I’m Alie-- :) thank you—I like your style”

And so began a friendship across continents. Proving to be a silver lining and distraction during the stressors of a world-wide pandemic, Babs and Alie began messaging daily about work, school, friends, world politics, favorite foods and general light-hearted banter. Their light-hearted chats turned more to support and a building of trust between friends as they traversed stressors in the rapidly changing world culture. Childhood stories of gathering fresh mangoes with neighborhood boys and summers of gardening and swimming in Lake Michigan were shared. Babs remained a touchstone and relief from worry and Alie began helping him understand it was okay and healthy to share stressors and accept support. Trust began to build and a symbiosis of dependency and attachment formed. After 2 years of friendship, Alie decided to risk it all and confide her deeper romantic feelings for Babs. Even though Babs felt similarly, he turned her down—concerned it would affect their treasured friendship if they broke-up. Alie respected his decision and 4 years into their friendship, Babs proposed dating and beginning to work on a future together. So began the journey to meet in-person for the first time. An attempt to meet in Portugal was thwarted and so they began a plan for Alie to visit Babs in Ghana. And that’s what happened in late October 2023.

After an arduous 11 hour flight, Alie landed on the African continent for the first time—her anxiety high and hoping she and Babs would have the same chemistry in person as experienced online. Leaving the airport and walking into the sweat-inducing 90 degree Ghanian sun, Alie searched for Babs. A few minutes later came a tall, handsome Babs in black, fitted jeans and maroon t-shirt. Alie ran down the steps, dragging her suitcase with a look of shock. “You’re so tall!” she exclaimed and Babs laughed and he enveloped her in embrace. They hugged and looked at each other, overwhelmed and filled with anticipation for the weeks ahead.

They splurged and stayed in a fancy hotel in the Airport District of Accra; it had a rooftop pool where they spent many afternoons and evenings swimming and overlooking the lively city of Accra. Alie was welcomed by Bab’s loving and vibrant community of neighbors, friends, and family. His mother had bright, beautiful traditional clothes made for Alie as a welcoming into the family. She was surprised and humorously polite about the need to make alterations for Alie’s hips lol. His father invited them to his place of business and accepted a modest gift from Alie with grace and kindness. Unfortunately, Bab’s brother was away working and now resides in Finland; they hope to spend time all together in the future.

Babs was determined to show Alie the best time in Ghana and planned many adventures. They went on a rope’s course and saw how flexible Babs could be when under duress. His dear friend Salis and newly appointed chauffeur drove them to Kakum National Park where they maneuvered the precarious and extremely high canopy walk above the bustily jungle below. Babs and his close friend Aliyu pulled a few favors and got them into the hottest beach party of the year with his friends for a night of dancing, food vendors, and multiple music performances. Babs and his friends still joke about Alie mentioning the growing tide as they sat on benches at the shore. Soon water was pouring over guests’ shoes and everyone was surprised, except Alie lol.

For the next 10 days the couple experienced the vibrant, colorful and busy culture of Accra. Sunsets, motorbike rides, city night-skyline, busy markets, walks along the beach, 15th century seaside castles in memoriam to lives stolen into slavery, and Kwame Nkrumah memorial in honor of their independence from Britian. They shared traditional Ghanian foods including jollof rice, waakye, fufu and fried plantains. There wasn’t enough time in the world and the looming return flight was near.

The time came for Alie to leave and sadness not just from Babs, but his sweet friends who had accompanied them on so many of the adventures. And his kind, joyful sister who made everyone food and braved the terrifying heights of the canopy walk even though she was scared. They all accompanied Alie to the airport and waited patiently until it was time to head to her gate. Struggling to end their embrace, Babs and Alie talked about next steps and how they would be together soon. Tearful, Alie walked through security and turned to see Babs, strong and trying to hide his sadness.

They began the visa process to bring Babs to the States in spring of 2024. After double and quadruple checking paperwork, submitting documents, countless appointment reschedules, much determination, and hope triumphing over fears and worry, the Fiancé visa was issued April 1st 2025.

In preparation to move to the States to be with me, Babs is leaving behind his home, family, friends, and strong community roots to begin this next chapter. We are looking forward to creating a life together and spending time creating unity from our diverse and treasured cultures and family. We are grateful to be granted this chance to share and express love for one another and those around us. From the Equator to the 45th Parallel, let’s celebrate!

Photos